Eddie for PM?

some mails are just fun to read. this one is no different. so im posting it here, well, part of it.

“I like your view on the current government issues and how you’d tackle the problem. I think if you venture into politics you’d be great. Its NOT A SURPRISE if you have the PM’s chair one day.”

-i’d take that as an insult.

there’s a lot of talented people out there but im not shy to admit that i am one of them (haha). there’s obviously someone better. i know my koleq friends wouldnt trust me. that alone is enough to convinced im not suited for the role.

im open, liberal and direct. i dont want to be the next mustapha kamal attarturk

Cyber Monday Blues

i havent gotten a good rest since Saturday to Monday. Im just being me, a cyber vampire.

how do you like waking up to monday?
how do you like facing unread emails that came over the weekend?
how do you like to beat the traffic?

today, life is easy. no traffic. no hassle. no new email. then i realized its school holiday! no wonder kids are everywhere. my younger brother woke up and challenged me to a winning-eleven match. seconds later, i found my PS2 toggle stick broken. kids these days dont really appreciate the luxury they had.

what am i mumbling about? its a cyber monday. commute time baby. oh yeah, this is test post.

thanks 😉

The Customary

every year, on my birthday, i will look back and muhasabah, what have i achieved? what do i have?

nothing.
nothing significant.
nothing to prove my worthiness.

somehow, i dont give a damn!

• i have great friends to feed my ego
• my family is supporting what im doing (indirectly)
• glad, God granted my “time-out” session
• grateful, that im still breathing and thinking.

to everyone who wished me, may God bless you with a worry-free life. amin.

to that special someone, thanks for giving me a live bullet for my birthday. i just wish i had a gun to shoot you. haha. the present is awesomely emo.

“Inna ma’al-‘usri yusra.” – inshira 5

Modesty is the Best Policy

it was my birthday celebration yesterday night. my family left me for a jakarta holiday. so im all alone. i wanted to celebrate with my close friends, but then again, they have daily jobs to keep (ohh..how thoughtful). so i went out with my best bud to bangsar.

initially i wanted to dance until my leg give up, sadly we’re too exhausted. so we decided to drive around the town. with the bimmer, i PIMPed the road. girls in jazz, gen2, wira, kancil etc.. looked as if saying, “oh.. i want to be in that car!”

conclusion
with a hole in a pocket, you can get “KFC chicken wings” by saying hi, as long as you drive a BMW 7 series. what a shallow world.

*KFC chicken wings = chicks = hot/slutty/sexy/ girls

ps: happy bday to me, happy bday to me, happy bday to hazlan, happy bday to me.
pss: 24, what have i achieved? nothing significant.
psss: we met kristen dunst at suzy corner. for you my dear, i will become a spiderman anyday (crawling around your body, hahaha)

Controversial Email?

Dear Edwin,

Kindly remove the recent post on your blog. You are not eligible to argue about overseas student like us. You dont know the distances/sacrifices we have gone through. Are you a local student?

Just because youre from MCKK, doesnt mean you can judge us based on observations.

Regards,
xXxXx
——————————————————————–
oh boy. like i said in my reply, i will do the follow up here. its open 😉

yeah, a guy emailed me. too good to be true? i thought so too.

firstly, im not kind so i will NOT remove nor retract what i have said. we’re democrats, freedom of speech is important.

tak eligible? you kidding me? like other normal malays, english is my second language. when i was in standard 2, my family migrated to US for 2 years. how does a non english speaker adapt to such enviroment, when the only words that can come out from my mouth was “teacher, can i go to the toilet?” (later corrected by the teacher, its, MAY i go to the BATHROOM). americans, they have their way. and yeah, i was both, local and overseas student. i hate it there, so i came back.

sacrifice? like how? cooking is hard? the wind is too cold for a kampung boy like you? they give out condom when you jump off the bus? page3 girl? drunk housemate? nude beach in barcelona? learning in English? oh dude.. so lame.

MCKK? how does everyone parading MC-Gay-Gay sound? a reality pinch? besides why do you have to bring up my school, are you inferior by any chance? are we an eye sore or did we sidelined you? MCKK was hell, you know nuts, so dont unzip your pants and put your cock on the table. i will not stroke it for you (nor any guys out there).

please prove me wrong (intelligent remarks je ok) if you can. pedas? yeah, thats how i like my sambal belacan to be.

Happy Halloween Ben

Not exactly halloween, late by a night.

i had a friend named benjamin. i couldnt speak english very well, he was my tour guide, my best-est friend. we’d share lunch packs (i ate his sandwiches, which i didnt know it was actually ham), had playground fights, play some scrabbles and his dog, annie.

life was easy those days.

i think of ben every halloween (seriously im not gay). we were lazy to knock on neighbors’ door for candies, so we robbed kids off the streets. literally robbed. we hid behind a large gloomy oak/pine tree and whenever a group of kids passed by, we came out running and screaming,”run! that tree eat kids!!“.

the kids ran, crying for their mommy. as for ben and me, we got tonnes of candies, left behind by the poor kids. ben likes licorice, i like herseys’ kisses and m&ms. so the trade was simple. we kept what we liked, the rest, we left it on the streets for stray dog or who ever.

ben, here’s a toast for you! happy halloween you jackass.

Raye Part 3

continual of the previous post,

i came back to the living room with a handful of bahulus. while gobbling and stuffing everything in my mouth, tok wan stood up and repositioned himself next to me. whispering tone, he asked,

tokwan : hang makan sume ni, tak takut gemok ka?
me : tak. bulan pose dh ilang dekat 6kg. raye 1 + 2 dah naik balik 4 kg.
tokwan : tu dia.. ni tanya kat hang. unemployed tu gheja lagu mana?
me : unemployed tu keje duduk rumah, bukak computer pastu masuk internet. kalau2 bosan tu, tolong mak lipat baju la.
tokwan : punya la sempoi hang gheja. boss hang tak marah?
me : mana ade boss. kami la boss. (kami is referred as ‘i’ up north)
tokwan : tak sangka ada gak cucu tokwan yg berjaya no. tokwan bangga abeslah kt hang.

tokwan is now convinced that “unemployed” is a king like position in a company. i left the room. a few minutes later, i heard..

“celaka hang ewin! kalau la lutut aku tak ketaq, dah lama aku takik hang dgn mertun!!!” (takik = knock, mertun = hammer)

i guess my parents explained to him what “unemployed” is.

thats to payback for forcing me to drink ‘kopi’ when i was 5. selamat hari raya tokwan 😉

p/s: tokwan used to force me many things when i was a kid, like, paint his house, build reban ayam, chase his chickens, eat cows’ testicle, climb rambutan tree etc. is the score even? i dont think so..

Raya Funny Story

There was my tok sedare who came to visit my grandma.

i sat next to my grandma. he asked, “hang ni buat apa la ni? dulu engineer..”

i think itll be hard to explain i build website for living. so i replied “unemployed je“.

he said,” ohh unemployed. gaji dalam 6 ribu ada?“

i clinched my tummy, tears filled my eyes, i was about to burst in laughter but i remained calm and answered, “ade kot. kadang2 lebih“.

org tue2 cakap, kalau tak tahu, tanye. sorry tok wan, youre just too funny.

About a Girl

There’s a beautiful girl,
who’d called in the middle of the night asking me to marry her.

There’s a classy girl,
who’d call me and bitch about everything, daily.

There’s a fan girl,
who’d email/call me asking what’s my next project.

There’s a liberal girl,
who’d invite me to some drinking party.

There’s a government girl,
who’d tell me, i should run a political campaign and promote peace.

There’s also an 18 year old designer girl,
who drew me in tux and telling me this is how i should dress up everyday.

The last, sexy chinese girl,
wants to go out on a date.

sorry girls, i just dont have feelings for any of you. im neither gay nor by. im just not in the mood.

The medic girls,
I called them thousands of time, non are interested.. HahHaha

Saman Polis

mom, they’re restless thinking that their son will be put to jail if he fails to pay all the compound issued. thats my mom..

i have 12 traffic compounds. lets do some math. minimum is RM150, max is RM300.
4 x RM 300 = RM1,200
8 x RM 150 = RM1,200
thats RM2,400 in total!

these offenses include maniac driving, speeding, parking fines, faulty 3rd light and my personal favorite, driving without license. btw, i was never caught doing 180kmh. funny.. only silly ones i couldn’t escape.

i paid my visit to Balai Polis Traffic Ampang. the officers were really nice! that was the biggest surprise. he asked,”are you sure you want to pay all this?”. “of course!”, i replied, can i even argue? i brought cash (mom funded 1k). RM 1120 please, he asked. what?? i got an instant discount? i happily paid for my silly mistakes 😉

thank you officer hamdan. next time, i treat you karaoke (with or without chicken)! hahaha